It was last month that I found myself once again standing in the middle of a bathroom showroom, desperately fighting back laughter while listening to the guy working there tell me about “the aesthetic of masculinity”.
Charcoal gray EVERYTHING. Exposed brick everywhere. Those awful Edison bulbs that look like something straight out of the 19th century. Enough black iron pipe to build an entire industrial estate. He spewed forth about “masculine design” and I could barely contain myself. I walked away.
At what point did masculine bathroom design become synonymous with “industrial chic pub toilet”?
Now I’m sure there’s some logic to this happening – for far too long, men’s bathrooms have been an afterthought. And since apparently we care more about our garages than our bathroom, the result has been builders’ basics across the board.
But let’s be honest, the most stylish guys I’ve ever met aren’t decorating their bathrooms with industrial pipes and reclaimed wood.
James, my girlfriend’s brother has a bathroom that literally stops people dead in their tracks whenever they come in. Cream-colored walls. A walnut vanity that he had custom-made. Brass faucets that have developed an attractive patina. Terrazo tile floors that are simply stunning. There’s nothing masculine about this, but it’s clearly a space for adults, a space where you can actually enjoy getting ready in the morning rather than dashing to get dressed and leave like you’re making a pit stop at a rest area along the highway.
This is what I wanted for us when we renovated our bathroom. Sophistication without the grandiose gestures. You don’t have to turn your bathroom into some sort of steampunk fantasyland to make it feel masculine. In fact, sometimes the greatest act of design is simply…restraint.
Consider color for example. Everyone assumes that the best color palette for a man’s space will be dark and brooding. But I find that the exact opposite works best. We painted our main bathroom walls with soft cream paint called White Dove from Benjamin Moore, and it instantly doubled the perceived size of the space. The warmth comes from the materials, not the color. Chunky marble countertops with fantastic veining. Old brass faucets that didn’t try too hard. This old runner I picked up at a garage sale for $15. The whole space feels calm and luxurious and there isn’t a single exposed brick anywhere in sight.
In fact, I learned this lesson the hard way in my very first apartment. Painted that teeny-tiny bathroom that charcoal gray color thinking it would feel sophisticated and adult-ish. Instead, it felt like getting ready in a cave every morning. An actual claustrophobic experience, and don’t even get me started on how disgusting it looked under that overhead light. Tip number one for someone who has made this same mistake – overhead lighting in dark spaces is literally NO ONE’S FRIEND.
Re-painted it in six months, switched to this soft sage green instead, and all of a sudden the space felt like somewhere you’d actually want to hang out. Amazing what a little paint can do.
Ultimately, you have to think about how you actually use the space. I shave at the sink almost every morning, therefore I need good task lighting – NOT those creepy dimming Edison bulbs that make you look like you’re auditioning for a slasher flick. Put these slick LED strips behind the mirror that produce even light without casting shadows. Spent about $150 at Screwfix for them but it was worth every penny to avoid cutting myself accidentally because I couldn’t see what I was doing.
Storage is also where “masculine” bathrooms fail spectacularly. All those open shelves and exposed surfaces may look cool in pictures, but in real life? Total disaster. I want my toiletries organized but displayed like some sort of grooming museum exhibit? No thanks. Build in medicine cabinets, vanity drawers with separate sections, possibly a tall cabinet that ACTUALLY CLOSES – none of these are sexy design elements, but they’ll help make your bathroom livable on a daily basis.
Took forever to research vanity options until eventually I came back to this idea of purchasing something custom-made. Found a local carpenter who created this gorgeous solid oak vanity with simple clean lines and soft-close drawers. Wasn’t cheap compared to IKEA options, but its been three years now and it still looks brand new. Plus there’s something incredibly satisfying about closing drawers softly and quietly, you know?
Texture is often overlooked but I believe texture is far more important than most people realize. Instead of always going for weathered steel and rough concrete, try softer textures such as linen shower curtains instead of glass doors – yes I know this is a heresy but they add so much softness to the space. Natural fiber rugs that don’t suck to stand on barefoot. Simply changing from chrome to brushed brass fixtures will entirely alter the mood of your space, makes everything seem far more deliberate and less sterile.
I see the biggest design blunders occurring inside the shower. Everyone goes crazy for rainfall showerheads and multi-body sprays etc., etc., but honestly? I just want water pressure strong enough so I don’t feel like I’m being sprayed by a houseplant and tiles that won’t show every water spot. Purchased large-format porcelain tiles in this warm grey finish that resemble natural stone but clean quickly and don’t require yearly sealing.
Men’s bathrooms require better ventilation than most homeowners provide. Men tend to take longer hotter showers (stop arguing with me – it’s true) which generates more moisture and mold problems. Upgraded to a legitimate exhaust fan – not that crummy builder’s grade model that can barely move air like a dying hamster – and it has helped greatly. My mirror no longer fogs up when I’m done showering; towels finally dry; there’s no damp/musty smell that seems to haunt so many other bathrooms.
Incidentally, plants are absolutely allowed in masculine spaces. Have this enormous snake plant sitting in the corner of my bathroom that thrives in the high humidity and adds visual interest without looking overly decorative/pretentious. Sometimes the simplest design choices produce the largest impacts; I am terrible with plants generally speaking, so if I can manage to keep this alive, anyone else can.
Also learned some valuable lessons about what works from mistakes as well as successes. That pricey Made.com mirror cost an arm and leg and looked awesome online but was WAY too large for our space – made the space feel cramped and chaotic. Sold it on Facebook Marketplace at a loss and purchased something more proportional instead. Measure correctly before buying anything, obvious as it may sound, saves you tons of trouble/time/money.
Finally took a few tries to get lighting correct as well. First attempted these trendy pendant lights on either side of the mirror but they produced unappealing shadows and made shaving next to impossible. Returned to something more conventional but high-quality – simple wall-mounted fixtures with nice LED bulbs providing even clean light.
What truly bugs me about those showroom displays is they’re marketing this concept that “masculine = industrial / rustic / etc.”. But the most confident stylish men I’ve ever known (teachers; friends from college; my girlfriend’s father – who has impeccable taste) aren’t decorating their homes to resemble themed bars/cafes.
Their homes are sophisticated, comfortable & distinctly THEIR own.
The whole point is designing a space that FEELS LIKE YOU – sophisticated comfortable functional – without succumbing to design cliches that turn your bathroom into some gastropub theme restaurant. Great design is great design – whether you’re using it or not – it needs to FEEL INTENTIONAL BUT NOT TRY-HARD; EXPENSIVE BUT NOT SHOWY; MALE WITHOUT BEING CARTOONISH ABOUT IT.
Renovating our bathroom took approximately eight months overall, completing it in stages based on work schedules, and spreading costs out over time. Not the fastest project we’ve undertaken but certainly one of the most rewarding. Every morning when I’m preparing for work I’m reminded that you don’t have to follow ALL of these “masculine design” guidelines to create something that feels decidedly male and impressively refined.
You can trust me – your morning routine will thank you for avoiding the cliches
